We should break the pattern before the pattern breaks us.
TW: Talks on violence
I remember thinking how people can be in love with the person, who hurt them the most. But I didn't had an answer to that, before I read a book recently, "It ends with us" by Colleen Hoover. I know some people don't like her writing because they think it's too cliched, but I find it really interesting. It showed me many aspects of life, in some difficult times.
So, back to the book, it's weird how things can be perfect once and yet fall apart in seconds. Life's too difficult at times that it takes a long time to make some decisions, regardless of the fact that some decisions can change our life forever.
I completed reading the book today, and questioned my mother, "What you would've done, if something like that happened to you?". I stared at her for straight two minutes but she didn't had an answer. Maybe ask your loved ones this question, and maybe you'll find an answer.
Isn't that weird, how people say that maybe he didn't meant to do that, or it was just his anger. I didn't grew up in a abusive family atmosphere, but I've witnessed it many times around my friends and my loved ones.
Many people stay calm and push their limits because they’re vulnerable of fighting, or maybe looking at the eyes of their kids, it’s hard for the parent to acknowledge and take a step towards it.
I’m not saying that violence happens only towards women, but yeah it’s necessary to speak out when you go through something, you’re not meant to be at.
Marriage never gives us the right to hit our partner without their consent, regardless of the gender.
As, it’s said in the book, “The last you want to do is lose sight of your limit, please don’t allow that to happen.”
I’ve seen a friend of mine, who used to get hit by her boyfriend mostly everyday and he used to hit her in public, so it’s even worse. She never used to say a single word against him. It used to hurt me seeing her cry.
I remember being in a relationship when I was younger, it was more of a manipulative one. No doubt things were perfect in the start, but eventually things start to detoriate and the constant lies and the tears which lead to manipulation, made it even worse. I remember being fearful of him at times, just because I wasn’t sure what might have happen if I react.
No offense, he never hurt me physically, but sometimes words and actions screw us emotionally. I started to fear falling in love again and opening up to others. I still do.
It’s hard to see, how people hurt you, and then apologies thinking it’ll be okay. We all have been gaslighted at some parts of our life, and yet we’re so numb to realize that.
Just because we think that we can heal the person and make them a better self, we decide to stay in there and burn ourselves to make sure, they change someday. But, eventually it doesn’t happen most of the time. The scars which are left in our soul are invisible and yet it hurts like the wounded ones. The physical scars heal, but the mental ones doesn’t leave you. These are the scars which make changes in our souls and make us a different person all together.
So, maybe don’t let yourself go through all this. And, speak up about it and walk out of the situation. It must be hard for everyone to do so, but maybe one decision of ours can change our life, and maybe give us a better future.
If you're a victim of Domestic violence or know someone, please contact your nearest women welfare center or report it to your police station. You're not alone.
